Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Sharing a Nightmare

I haven't had a nightmare in quite a while. Actually, I haven't had any dreams that I can actually remember in months. Last night, though, I had a nightmare that definitely kept me from getting a good nights rest.

From what I can remember, I was at my moms house, except there were a lot more rooms than she actually has. It's weird, when I have a nightmare it usually takes place at my moms house. I was running from a person. I don't know who they were though, or why I was running. I would run in to a room and quickly slam the door closed behind me. I was frantically trying to find a lock that wasn't there. I ended up having to keep the door closed with my weight as I searched around the room for another door. The person on the other side kept pushing, trying to get in. The door would open a crack and I'd have to fight back, pushing harder. Once I'd find another door, I would run for it, which let the person come chasing after me. I would make it behind the next door before they got to me, and the cycle continued. Finally, after many different doors with no locks, I ran through my moms kitchen, and I felt like I had gained a little distance. I was less frantic when I closed the basement door because I immediately found a lock. I stood back and heard the person banging on the door, trying to get in. They started talking aloud about different ways to try and get to me, but I couldn't hear the plans. I knew they would eventually find a way, but I was able to calm down on the steps, knowing that I at least had a little more time before they would.

When I woke up this morning, I felt like I had actually been running all night. I was so tired.

I keep thinking about my dream, trying to interpret it. I think that it may mean something that it was the basement door that finally had the lock. It's funny because I have always been weary of basements. For me to feel safer locked in the basement than to confront whoever was behind the door, means something. The fact that this all took place at my moms house, a place that I haven't lived since I was 18, means something too. Also, I really remember running through the kitchen. That was the most vivid room of my dream.

I wouldn't have been able to say this before my nightmare but I believe that I may be running from myself. My old self. The one who would rather eat dinner in front of the tv and stay there until it's time for bed. The one who use to live at my moms house, never exercise, and eat the delicious yet bad-for-you-foods. The person chasing me in this nightmare was the old me. If I wouldn't have had this nightmare, the old me may have finally caught me. This nightmare really woke me up.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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