Friday, June 22, 2012

Stuck Here out of Fear

This morning I did something that I haven't done in quite a while; I made breakfast! I really do believe that eating breakfast does help you lose weight. Which may be just one of the contributors to my recent struggle to get out of the 230's.

Tomato and Cheddar Omelet

Speaking of my struggle to get out of the 230's, I sometimes wonder if I am stuck here because I am afraid. It sounds silly but even though losing 35 pounds has been extremely motivating and exciting; it has been bitter sweet, too. With every pound that I lose, I feel like I change a little more. I become more confident and more strong. Even though these are positive changes, I need to appreciate the fact that I am still dealing with change.

Change can be scary sometimes. I wonder, who will I be when I reach the 220's, 210's, and 200's? Who will I be when I finally reach "onederland"? I know that I will still be me, but will I be a better version of me? If so, what does that mean for all of the years spent weighing in at 250 lbs.? What does that mean for me weighing in at 234 lbs., today? Am I not good enough?

In order to move on in my weight loss journey, I need to remind myself of the following:

1. I accept myself just as I am now.
2. My loved ones accept me for me at any weight.
3. I will still be "me" when I lose this weight.
4. Losing weight doesn't make me a better person, having the courage to change, does.

Have you ever been challenged with the fear of change, even if it's a good change?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


  1. Man I love how short your blogs are... I can't help but ramble in mine.

    I like what you brought up in it, because, That was something I discussed in my blog at length a while back..
    .Back when I used to be thin, men would flirt with me so much it made me feel very unsafe and uncomfortable, and I didn't wanna be "beautiful" anymore.
    Now that I'm older and not in highschool, I am ACTUALLY safe now, I'm a grown up etc.. But my mind still wants to protect me.. .So I have to change the meaning.

    We can make any event mean anything..
    Cancer to some people makes them a fighter, and to others to give up.
    I like the idea of it being empowering... to get there....

    But then that has to sit right in your mind that being healthy and taking care of yourself, is the "safe" thing to do. Mind's are funny things.
    Perhaps if there was any trigger for gaining weight.. look back at that and talk to that younger you and tell her it's safe now. ? (The subconcious only has the logic of a 2 year old) so it does need some parenting.

    Keep going!

    - happy kitty nz.

  2. Nice topic! You make alot of sense.
    Keep up the good work and Im sure everyone will love "skinny Kay" and if they dont... you dont need em around anyways.
    Keep Up the Good Work! Im proud of you and jealous cuz I need to lose alot of weight to!

    - Momma K.