Saturday, September 29, 2012

Guest Post: Selfish Selflessness

As I mentioned in  recent post, I have asked a very special person to submit a guest post for my blog. The very special person is somebody who has inspired me to become the person I am today; my very own mother:
Hi Everyone,
When Kay first asked me to guest blog on her site I was hesitant.  What exactly would a 42 year old mother of 3 have to contribute to her awesome blog about losing weight?  After all, I am not a good example.  I have always been overweight and I’ve been fine with that.  I’ve gotten into a comfort zone size 18 jean (heck I used to wear a 24 at my largest so to me an 18 is good).  I’m too busy living my crazy life that I just can’t find the time to work out.  Let me give you a little background… Kay was my first child and she is now 24.  Then I had Kay’s sister, Beckah, who is 16 and I recently adopted Kay’s younger brother, Evan, who is 2.  After becoming laid off last year, I became a stay at home mother to Beckah, who does Cyber School and to Evan, who was 1.  I started a small daycare in my home and now I watch 3 little boys (plus Evan makes 4 boys) all under the age of 3.  You would think that would keep me busy enough to lose some weight chasing after them, but that’s just not the case.
When I thought about what I would write about the many trial and errors I have encountered entered my mind.  I have tried diet pills, slim-fast, weight watchers, exercising… you name it I have tried it or bought a book about it in hopes of trying it.  But then it came to me… Have you ever known a defiant child who you tell to one thing and they do the opposite?  A child who you say “Don’t run” and they run faster?  Who you tell “Put that down” and they lift it higher?  Welp, that’s me!  I am a 42 year old child that refuses to listen to anyone and if I'm told to do something I usually ignore it until something MAKES me do it!
Fact: Eat Breakfast because it jump starts your metabolism and it’s the most important meal of the day.
ME:  I hate breakfast so why eat it.  I should save those calories for something I enjoy eating later in the day.
Fact:  Exercise gives you more energy
ME:  I don’t have enough energy to exercise so why risk the little energy I have to see if it will make me feel better.
Then Kay asked me to go to the gym with her a couple times a week to keep her company.  Sure I could do that FOR KAY!  (did anyone get that?... If its FOR KAY I will do it!)  It just hit me like a brick…I am selfish and don’t want to do anything to HELP MYSELF because I don’t have enough hours in the day, but I am selfless and will do anything and give up my precious time to help SOMEONE ELSE!  I even went to the gym with Kay earlier this week after being sick all weekend because I didn’t want Kay to NOT go to the gym because I was sick, so I sacrificed my sickness and weariness just to make sure Kay went to the gym.  Heck, if it was all about ME, I would have stayed curled up in a ball on the couch or went to bed early, but the exercise isn’t about me (atleast in MY HEAD its not and that’s OK cuz if it gets me there FOR KAY, then we both win in the end!)
Can anyone else relate to my line of thinking?  How do I keep working out and eating right for ME and not just for SOMEONE ELSE?


  1. I can totally relate! Exercise and eating healthy are so important, and it's so easy to lose focus about why. It's not really about the number on the scale or on the tag of your jeans. It's about being there for the people who love you, and being healthy so that you can live the best life you can.

    Even if you're not losing weight, exercise has so many amazing benefits!

    And this link is good too:

    For the longest time, I told myself that I had no energy so I wasn't going to waste what little I had on exercise. Well, exercising gives me MORE energy! Not immediately - but it doesn't even take that long to see major benefits. I started sleeping better after just 5-10 days of consistent exercise.

    (One of my problems, too, was that I would "reward" myself for walking a mile with food - so I'd eat extra ice cream because I'd "earned it." Well, I may have burned 100 calories with walking, but I would eat back 300 - so I would gain weight in the end. I switched my "rewards" to things like new books, magazines, and such things -- not food! -- and that helped a lot!)

    You are worth the effort and you are worth the time it takes to get healthy!

  2. Hi Kay's Mom!!! You sound very much like I once was (still am now and then) and it took accepting that it's ok to be selfish, to whine a little, to say 'no' to get me on the road to success.

    It was anger that finally did it for me. I was tired of being the doormat friend, the good daughter, the sister in the middle. I began to carve out time for myself for ME because I was angry that no one else was looking out for me. I figured if no one else would help me out, I would have to do it myself!

    Until you can find the fuel YOU need to begin doing good things for yourself, doing them for Kay is a pretty good compromise I'd say :D

    What an awesome Mom you are!