Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Fat Cow

Fat cow. That's what I was called yesterday by a complete stranger. It actually hurts worse typing this right now than it did when I actually heard the insult. At the time, I was walking through the right side of a double door when a man and a woman were trying to walk out through the left side. The left side door was locked so he told the woman to "just push through the fat cow"; the fat cow being me.

Now I think, "just push through me", like I'm nothing? Does he believe that I am nothing because I'm overweight, rather, because I'm a "fat cow"?

Thinking back, I'm not as shocked at the comment as much as I am shocked at my reaction. I just kept walking like nothing happened. It actually didn't even bother me, until now. What does that say about me? I was so quick to accept the insult, as if it was nothing; nothing but what I already expect people to be thinking about me.

I don't need other people to beat me up over my weight. Trust me when I say that I've gone nearly my entire lifetime doing so to myself. Where did that get me? It got me to my highest weight of 268 lbs. I type this now, 30 pounds lighter, and yet, I feel defeated.

I wonder now, at what weight would I need to be for this stranger to consider me a person? For him to not consider me a "fat cow"? But then again, why wonder? It doesn't make a difference. I have been called such cruelties at most any weight.

I almost didn't want to write about my experience today. I didn't want to give this stranger any more thought than I already had. He doesn't deserve it. However, I decided to share; not for me, but for the chance that it would help somebody else.

To some people, it will never matter how hard you have worked or how much weight you have lost. They are still entitled to their own opinion. This is why it is so important to not try to lose weight or live a healthier lifestyle for anyone but yourself! Nobody understands your struggles more than you do, and only you know how much you are capable of doing.

8 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope that one day that person learns how horrible they are being.

    Keep it up you are doing this for you!

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  2. I would have come back with a quick quip like "Why not push through the asshole next to ya, oh yeah cuz he's full of shit... let me move over for his highness, The King of Shit". Or maybe I would have just socked him one... Thats what I wanna do now just reading this! Proud of you for NOT engaging. I dont think its because you accepted his comment, I think its because you accepted his IGNORANCE! People ARE ignorant and thats something we just cant change!

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  3. I agree with the other post! I would have made a comment like " the world would be a better place without assholes like you". :( people can be so mean!

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  4. I am so sorry that happened to you. :( You know what, you may be overweight (right now!) but that is something you are trying to change. I would much rather be fat than to be the kind of person that treats others with such utter disregard. People like that are just awful and I actually feel sorry for them. They have it so much worse off than someone who is overweight. Can you imagine how hard it must be to live your life, walking around being so hateful all the time?

    You are better than that! Don't let people like him get you down! {{hugs}} I know ... that's easier said that done, isn't it?

    Again, I am really sorry someone treated you that way.

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  5. My heart is breaking for you. I'm so sorry. It's absolutely fine to be any size in the world - that should go without saying. Bullies like that are such hideously ugly people.

    I'm so sorry, Kay.

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  6. PS - I wanted to recommend some resources to you that might be helpful. Have you investigated the size acceptance movement & Health at Every Size at all? HAES is a great philosophy, in my opinion, because it focuses on cultivating healthy behaviors for the individual person. Weight, as we know, doesn't indicate whether someone is healthy or not. I've found it very freeing.

    I love The Fat Nutritionist - www.fatnutritionist.com - she is truly amazing, kind, and so very gifted. Her writings have really helped me start to untangle my sordid history with food.

    Health at Every Size: http://www.haescommunity.org/

    Dances with Fat: https://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/blog/

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  7. I know you don't want to give that person any more thought, but thank you for sharing anyways. I'm only 2 lbs lighter than you and I in no way feel like a "fat cow!" and I'm actually quite offended! I can't even imagine how you feel!

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  8. ow darlin' you're right, he's not worth your brain space or your tears. I'm sad for you, but like you said, it likely has little to do with your actual weight.

    I wonder how I would have reacted....? Sometimes I like to think I'm tough, but I likely would have kept walking too :(
    I wonder if appealing to the woman would have helped...? If you had turned to her and warned that she better not gain another ounce or she'd be the next in line for his disgust.
    nah, of course it wouldn't have helped, only a roll of duct tape for his mouth would ;)

    thanks for sharing this terrible experience

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