Saturday, February 23, 2013

I Didn't Want to See You Again

It is Saturday morning. Time slows down a little on quiet Saturday mornings and I feel like I can just breath. As I reflect on the week that I just went through, I can say one thing for certain. Work was insane this week! As a result, I did a lot of nothing when I would get home late every night. If you want to know how to gain weight, I can tell you. I did a pretty good job at that this week. I have the perfect recipe for it, too:

Stress + Late Nights + Eating Badly + No Exercise + Few Blogs this Week = 3 lbs. weight gain


Dear 233 lbs.,

I thought I said I didn't want to see you again. Oh, it's my fault we have met once more? Well, I won't be here for too long. I took a wrong turn and I will be leaving you very soon.



I feel determined, but a part of me also feels doubt. I want so badly to get back on track, back to my routine. This upcoming week, however, is going to be anything but routine.

Monday - 9 hours in office
Tuesday - 9 hours in office
Wednesday - 4 hours in office; 6 hour drive to Harrisburg
Thursday - 6 hour meeting in Harrisburg
Friday - 6 hour drive home

I will be going on a business trip this week. That always throws my schedule off. Losing weight requires me to put myself first, much of the time. However, so much of my time and energy goes in to my job. So much of "me" goes in to my job. I sometimes feel as if I lose myself in my job. I work as a Paralegal in a Child Welfare Agency, so the work that I do is very important. It impacts the lives of children and families. It is an incredibly stressful job, but it is equally rewarding. I love my job. I love the work that I do. It's what I've always wanted to do. Some days are harder than others, but as I said in my last post, I love the challenge. I love completing something I once thought wasn't possible. So, this week ahead will be another challenge.

Business trips are a challenge in many ways. First of all, on Wednesday I will be working in the office for 4 hours and then I will be driving to Harrisburg for 6 hours. I will probably not get in until 7:00/7:30 p.m. I will be eating a late dinner at a restaurant. So, if you have been following along, that means I will be sitting for many hours and then eating out. I will be tired and a little stressed. This is starting to look a lot like my recipe for gaining weight, above. No wonder I rarely leave a business trip without gaining a pound or two.

Thursday, I will be in a meeting for most of the day. The lunch will be provided, something I do not know ahead of time, and something I cannot plan for. Breakfast and dinner will be from a restaurant. Challenging for a person trying to lose weight, but not an impossible feat.

Friday, I will be traveling back home. Breakfast and lunch will be from a restaurant, but dinner will finally be at home again.

The challenge is to make it through my business trip without gaining weight. Here are some key things I want to challenge myself with this week:

1. Make smart choices when dining out in Harrisburg
2. Fit in time for exercise
3. When I am not in a meeting, try to enjoy myself and appreciate the opportunity of being out of town

My sister will be joining me on this business trip. This makes a world of a difference. She helps drive and she helps me feel more relaxed. It seems less of a business trip and more of a vacation with her around. You can read about the last time we were in Harrisburg together by clicking here.

My sister is happy to be active with me, whether we are jogging around the town or going to the gym. She is supportive of my weight loss goals. She is happy to accommodate my choices when eating out. I could go on forever about how amazing my sister is. She always tells me how beautiful I am, usually when I am least expecting it. She is caring, honest, and so funny. I feel like I can tell her anything without a filter and she still loves me. She is absolutely beautiful, inside and out. I am so lucky to have her as a sister. I couldn't imagine life without a sister; without her. She is simply the best.

My sister and I after jogging the bridge in Harrisburg this past summer.
My sister is a huge reason as to why my work is so important to me, too. The Agency that I work for seeks permanency for children. We deal with children who have been removed from their homes, from their parents and sometimes, sadly, from their siblings. If you think about it, if you have them, siblings will be the longest relationship we have in our lives. Our parents will one day pass, our friends and our spouses/significant others have not been there with us our entire lives. My sister, has been and I have been for her, too.

When children in the system are torn apart from their siblings, it is, in my opinion, devastating. If anyone were to know that every situation is different, it would be me. I have seen hundreds of different cases come across my desk and I know that sometimes separating siblings is necessary. However, there are times when siblings are separated simply because there are no foster homes available to take them all; it's an injustice. In times of trauma, your siblings can be of great comfort. To have them removed from you when you have already lost so much, is devastating. The relationship with my sister gives me a passion in my career. I connect with the work we do in the Agency because of my sister and the impact she has had on my life. She may not know just all of the ways that she impacts me, and those in her life, but I must tell you, she's a great person.


Tonight I will be going to my dads for my birthday dinner. If you don't remember, I will be happy to remind you that it is still my birthday month. I am not quite sure what we will be having but pizza and a salad were mentioned.

I plan to use my yoga mat today before dinner, tonight. Today seems like a good day to bring some balance back in my life.


  1. Your love for your sister made me cry! It is truly amazing! Im sure (positive actually) that she values and loves you the same! I would like to think your momma had something to do with that close knit relationship! ;)

  2. Sending positive thoughts for your tough week!! Get through it!! Stay on track!! You can do it!!