Friday, May 3, 2013

Self Compassion

I have been having a lot of fun on Happify, the website that I had been asked to try recently. I have been learning some new things, but most of it I have already learned throughout my weight-loss journey. Happify's research and information is a great reinforcement of what I already believe to be true. When I'm not learning something new, I'm being reminded of some of the most important things to keep in mind when trying to lose weight, become healthier, and for life in general. Just yesterday, I was reminded about the important of self compassion.

Happify says,
"self-compassion boosts our resilience so that when we stumble, we can get up and try again. When making a mistake isn’t a big deal, we’re more open to learn from our missteps and try new things, rather than hide in shame.
Kristin Neff, Ph.D., an associate professor in Human Development at the University of Texas at Austin, has been researching self-compassion for the past decade. Neff believes today’s competitive culture leads us to believe being good enough isn't good enough. Media images and slogans push us to compare ourselves with others, even though there will always, always be someone who is more successful, richer, skinnier, or more attractive than we are.
Neff’s research shows that self-compassionate people feel more secure and strongly suggests that accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health. People who are easier on themselves are less likely to be depressed and anxious and are more prone to happiness and optimism. Self-compassion steps in precisely when we fall down, allowing us to get up and try again."

I feel that after losing 35 pounds and then being at a plateau for over a year, I have a fairly good grasp on self-compassion; I am not giving up. Do I get frustrated? Sure! But, I know the reason I'm not losing weight is because I agree to go out for pizza and a couple beers, or wings and deep fried zucchini. Telling myself that deep fried zucchini is still a vegetable and that wings are my protein is not getting me to my weight-loss goals. I know that, and I am laughing a little while I type this. I have been trying to lose weight lately without giving anything up. I know that doesn't work for weight loss, but in case you were wondering; it DOES work for maintaining weight-loss, which had been humbling enough for me as of late.

I know that if I want to break out of the 230's, I need to give a little bit up. I often say, "moderation, not deprivation". It seems my motto more recently should be "moderation, not indulgence". I haven't given up on myself because I have been self-compassionate. I have been accepting my imperfections. I have been easy on myself. These are all good things to do and to be; however, I do want to move forward with my weight-loss. I will not give up being self-compassionate, but instead, I will tone down the amount of times we are eating out. It's hard this time of year; the weather is finally nice at 70-degrees. We love to take the motorcycle to local ice cream shops, or our local sports bar for dinner. We will have to change those habits and ride the motorcycle to the beach instead; or a trail to go walking.

If recognizing why I am not losing weight is the first step, then I'd say forgiving myself would be the second. The third step, I'd say, would be to make a plan. The fourth step... get going!

The Plan:

- Stop eating out so much, and start getting serious about losing weight again.

I am very happy with my current weight. I feel guilty saying that, because I know that I am still very overweight, but it's so freeing to finally love myself; to love where I am at. I think that's another reason why I have been slow to lose weight. It's hard to be in a big rush to lose it, when you're happy with where you are. The more that I lose, the healthier I will be; this will have to be the motivation. If the motivation was happiness, I would stay put; because I'm already there!

1 comment:

  1. I think being happy with your self is a big step in the right direction. How can you make changes when you don't like yourself? It's more fun to make positive changes when you are happy with life :) YAY for loving YOU!!
    You're doing great!! To quote the Tortoise..."Slow and steady wins the race."