I must confess. Prior to this past weekend, I had not been to Church in about a year. That is one reason why I made it a New Year Resolution to go back to Church.
Don't get me wrong, even though I haven't been to Church in a year, I still pray every day. I love God and I praise Him for all that He has done in my life. I also spent a lot of time listening to online sermons this past year; to be honest, there was a time when I would listen to two or more sermons in a day. I love God. I need God and his grace. I just wasn't going to Church.
When God blessed us with Piper last year, we stopped going to Church. Piper was born in January, and with her being born in the peak of flu season, Nick and I very anxious about her getting sick. We made the decision to not go back to Church until flu season was over.
When flu season was finally over, we found that Piper liked to take her naps right during Church hours. We liked to sleep in on Sundays and take naps while we could, too. So, we didn't go right back, as planned. Instead, we indulged in the excuse of being new parents a little longer, which brings us to the here and now.
This past Sunday, we took Piper to Church for the first time! Piper still likes to take naps right around Church time but, we were able to get her to take an earlier nap this past Sunday. I'm not sure if it will always work out this way, but I'm glad that it worked out for us that day.
Piper was very excited to be in Church. She was very vocal, too! She kept pointing and yelling "YA!", when the Pastor would talk. We would have to tell her "shhh", which she thought was funny. Piper was very vocal during the singing, too. It was really cute, and everyone seemed to be tolerant of her.
Piper lasted about 40 minutes in church before she started becoming fussy. My mom and I took her to the nursery, where a couple ladies from church watch children 0 - 3 years old. My mom offered to stay with Piper since it was her first time going to the nursery. I was glad she stayed. Turns out, even with my mom staying in the nursery with Piper, I was still overwhelmed with emotions. On my way back to the church service, I started to cry unexpectedly! I was shocked at how emotional I was getting, so I took a quick turn for the bathroom. Once I got in there, I lost it. I started sobbing, then I laughed at myself, then I cried some more.
I don't know exactly why I was crying. It might have been because I left Piper in a daycare-like setting for the first time (even though my mom was with her. I know I had no reason to be upset about this). It might have been because I was overwhelmed with being back in Church, again; the last time being when I was pregnant with Piper and now, almost all of a sudden, she is turning ONE in a couple weeks. It might have also been because I knew she was going to be fine in nursery; that she didn't need me or my mom there with her. It could have been a bit of it all. Either way, my husband smirked at me when he saw my red eyes, and gave me a side hug in our seats when I returned.
Nick and I finished out the church service together, and I only asked him about three times if I should go check on Piper. Thankfully, my mom sent me plenty of pictures to assure me she was fine.
Our first day back to church was a blessing. It was a nice reminder of how blessed I am to be home with Piper every day. My heart is not ready for anything else at this point.