After stepping on the scale almost every day since the beginning of the month, I have seen no change in the number. If anything, I have seen a gain. I come to you now, feeling a little defeated.
At first, I want to throw my hands in the air and yell, "I don't get it"! I don't understand why I'm not seeing a change. I don't know why I'm not losing weight. I'm doing "everything" right, so why isn't the scale "proving" that for me?
I've been exercising more than before; I've been doing everything that I did before (when I lost 40 pounds before getting pregnant) and now (20 months postpartum) the same efforts aren't working. "Why?!", I ask myself now, while throwing a toddler-like fit inside my head, "why?!"
The truth is, I'm not doing "everything" right. While I have been exercising for 2 - 3 hours per week, I am slacking on a bunch of other things. I'm not always drinking 120 ounces of water a day; I've only been reaching that goal a couple times a week. I don't always stay within my calorie range and I haven't been managing my stress very well (i.e. night-time snacking). I haven't been putting myself first very often, either. So when I look back, I realize that I haven't actually been doing a lot of the things I did before (when I lost 40 pounds). So, while I don't want to admit it, the scale is kind of right.
Even so, I don't think it's healthy to be checking the scale everyday. I think doing so is actually hindering my progress with weight-loss. After checking the scale today, and seeing that there had been no change in weight, I decided that this just isn't helping me, and I need to stop.
Checking the scale daily isn't motivating me to do better; it's actually starting to put negative thoughts in my head. Thoughts like, "I should just eat whatever I want because it's not making a difference anyway." I mean, yuck. If that's not the beginning of an "all or nothing" mentality, I don't know what is. The "all or nothing" diet mentality is something I thought I said good-bye to, years ago.
I had a moment of weakness today when I let that "all or nothing" mentality sneak back in my train of thoughts. I felt hopeless there for a minute, and I tried to think of a way I could turn my attitude around; a way that I could feel like I was regaining control of myself. That's when I came up with two lists. A list of things that aren't helping me lose weight and a list of things that will help me lose weight.
Things that aren't helping me lose weight:
1. The Scale - see above.
2. Over-committing - I've been giving too much of myself to others and not leaving enough energy for myself.
3. My old water bottle - it's been broken and I have been struggling with drinking enough water without one.
4. Trying to out-exercise a bad diet - I have been nailing my exercise goals and failing at my food goals.
5. Little planning with even less action - I plan out meals for dinner, but struggle with breakfast, lunch and snacks. Leading to poor last-minute choices in a hurry.
Things that will help me lose weight:
1. Checking the scale no more than once per week.
2. Start saying "no", more often.
3. Buy a new water bottle.
4. Take time to prep healthy food ahead (chop and store lettuce for salads, etc).
5. Plan meal options for breakfasts, lunches, snacks and dinners.
I have written out both of these lists on a piece of paper and I'm going to hang it in sight. I think it's important to identify and admit what isn't working, that way you can move on from it and make a change.
Readers, what are some things that aren't working for you, and what changes are you going to make to get yourself to a happier place?