Thursday, March 9, 2017

Unexpected Emotions

My mom had surgery yesterday. For those of you who don't know, the last time my mom had surgery was when they removed some lymph nodes {right before my daughter was born} due to Stage 4 Melanoma Cancer. This recent surgery was much different, more like a preventative procedure, but it was still concerning for my mom and all of us, of course. The surgery yesterday went well, and we can all breath a little better now that it's all over.

My mom, Piper and I.

Having my mom go through surgery again stirred up a lot of emotions that I wasn't expecting; as if they were buried deep inside. I wasn't expecting to take it so hard.

Leading up to the surgery, I didn't feel much of anything. I didn't think too much about it, either -- to the point that the night before, I had made arrangements for Nick to help a friend with their furnace the day of my mom's surgery. My mind has been scattered lately. After I got the news that my mom was out of surgery and in recovery, that's when it all hit me. All of the emotions caught up to me, oh, and my memory came back! I remembered I had to cancel Nick's favor with our friend's furnace that night so he could help me with Piper while I go in to visit my mom in the hospital.

Surprisingly, my friend still seemed to want my husband to come out to check their furnace the evening of my mom's surgery {despite knowing what we were going through when I told her the situation} which initially made me upset. Thinking back, I was probably so upset because I had a rush of emotions finally coming back to me after feeling almost nothing leading up to the days before my mom's surgery. I'd say my level of "upset" was at a "how could you still want Nick to come help when I just told you my mom is in the hospital and I need to be there for her?" kind of upset. But still, I think their initial lack of compassion warranted my initial emotion. We ended up working it all out in the end, when I explained how hard I was taking my mom going through surgery again.

Once I calmed down a bit, I reminded myself that I can't control how others act; I can only control how I react. I ended up saying that if her husband got home in time for Nick to get there and check out their furnace before I left for the hospital, we would try to accommodate them.

Regardless of all that, my mom is doing well and I am doing better, too. I hope I don't get any more surprise emotions pop up now that's all over. Through this all, it made me remember how important staying positive truly is to our well-being. It's not something that always comes so naturally, either. It's a learned trait that requires practice. I have been practicing a positive attitude a lot to get me through this week! Yesterday was hard, but today is going to be a little easier. I'm positive!


  1. So glad to know that your mom came through the surgery ok!!!! Keep your chin's difficult being an adult and worrying about your parents!!!!