I've been feeling a little different these past few days. It's almost as if I was reborn again after having the flu. I feel like someone hit the restart button on my brain and now that I'm well, I am seeing things in a different light; in a brighter light. It's hard to explain, but I'll try.
Lately, time has been going by at a decent rate. It's not like things are going too slow or going too fast. I feel like I am fully present and enjoying every minute. It's a good place to be, in the right here and right now.
These past few days, I have been taking more time to look at my two year old daughter -- I mean, really look at her. Whenever she is sitting on my lap, watching t.v., I am watching her. I look at her face, the curve of her little button nose and I watch the way that she wiggles her fingers around the lambie-lovey in her hands. I think about how much I will miss her chubby cheeks and her little voice, just the way they are right at this moment. I am fully aware of how sweet life is right now, and I don't want to forget it.
Yesterday, after Nick got home from work, he came upstairs to find Piper and I laying on our bed. It was shortly after Piper woke up from her nap, and we were playing tickle games. Nick joined us in bed, and started tickling Piper with me. We laughed and talked and laughed some more. As I looked at my husband, who was looking down at Piper, I found myself in one of those little moments that make life spectacular. Those moments aren't hard to find; they are always there, you just have to realize it. Thankfully, I have been realizing it, more and more.
This week, mid-week, Nick and I went out on a spontaneous date night. Piper went to Nina's and they had so much fun while we were gone. Nick and I used our time together to go out to dinner. We went out to a place he had never been before. It was quiet, and it was good.
For a majority of our time out to dinner, we sat quietly with our arms outreached across the table, holding hands. And there I was again, finding myself in another one of those spectacular moments. We weren't even talking about anything worth noting, we were just sitting with each other, holding hands. It was as if we both silently agreed how great life was in that very moment. We were together on a Wednesday evening, and we were out to dinner at a table with a beautiful rural view, a view of a field with tractors and a sky that went on for miles. It's those small moments that are worth noting. Those small everyday moments that make life so sweet.
Life is incredibly good. The good is always there. Even when I was down with the flu last week, I was searching for the good. I know there are bitter moments in life but, those moments are worth withstanding. There will be loss in our lives, there will be sadness, and grief and everything that is unbearable. But, in the right here and the right now, life is incredibly good. I am so very aware and I am holding on to it. I am holding on by letting go of anything that distracts me from the good life.
The good life is slow. The good life is taking the time to look each other in the eyes. The good life is never fully catching up on the laundry. The good life is celebrating the really small stuff. The good life is letting go of what other people think. The good life is being authentically you. The good life is finding grace. The good life is sharing love. The good life is here and now.