Friday, October 13, 2017

Pause and Pray

I feel like these past few weeks have flown by faster than usual. I mean, it's the middle of October, everyone. Can you believe it?! I am having trouble coming to terms with that one.

I do want to say that while this week went by really fast for me, I feel like my time was well spent! I can't always say that, so I feel like I need to celebrate that fact whenever I can.

I think one reason why I felt more balanced and productive with my time this week is because I put God first. I started almost every morning either with an earnest prayer and/or bible study this week. And, that wasn't that only time I spent in prayer. I prayed all throughout my day, too. Whenever I felt like I was close to losing my patience with Piper (my two year old), I paused and prayed. Whenever I felt like I was about to have an anxiety attack, I paused and prayed. Whenever I was sad, I paused and prayed. Whenever I was happy or content, I paused and prayed. It was a very prayerful week, as I wish all weeks were for me. I am working on it!

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I remember a while back, there was a time when I felt like I couldn't pray to God at all. That was a hard time for me. I had many reasons weighing on my heart. Some of the reasons being, it had been too long since the last time I prayed; I didn't have enough time to really get into a full earnest prayer; I didn't know what to say.

So, at first, I started praying by saying nothing at all. I just opened my heart to God, asked Him for forgiveness and begged Him to just listen to my heart because, I didn't have the words. I knew that He knew what I wanted to say, without me saying anything at all. He knew what I needed even when I didn't, and I trusted that silent prayer was enough to start building back up my relationship with God. It took me a while of silent prayer before I started feeling comfortable enough to start voicing the words from my heart. After a while, the words started flowing so much easier.

To be "in touch" with God throughout the day also helps to keep me from feeling that "stay-at-home-mom loneliness" that creeps in from time to time. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm sure you can google something like "why do stay at home moms feel lonely?" and get a bunch of answers from various articles on the topic. I don't even know the reason fully, myself at times. I mean, I'm never alone during the day {I'm with my two year old} and yet, I would sometimes get lonely. More so, I would feel lonely back in the days before Piper and I started having these fun two-year old conversations, thanks to her more developed speech. But, still, it happens -- just less often, now.

Another thing I noticed happening this week: now that I started to focus more on being prayerful throughout my day, I was forgetting to check my phone -- a lot. I left my phone upstairs for an entire morning on Monday and then an entire afternoon yesterday. Compared to my phone {and social media} uses in previous months, that is kind of a big deal for me. I think I know why I've been needing to be on my phone less this week, too. 

It's really no secret {to me anyway} that I use my phone and social media to feel connected in a fairly isolated environment. Being a stay-at-home mom can be isolating at times and social media and texting friends is my connection to the outside world, every day. But, now that I've been more prayerful throughout my days, I haven't needed to rely on social media as much to feel as connected. Instead, I've been connected elsewhere. I've been "in touch" and connected with God all throughout my day and my heart has been content.

I know that not all weeks will be this good but, I needed to share what's gotten me through this busy week with such contentment. I am sharing this mostly so I can look back and be reminded that when I feel like things are falling apart, or; I can't get ahead, or; I have no control over how my day is going, I need to just pause and pray, over and over again.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my this a wonderful post and very touching. I know how you feel I to struggled with praying but I have been learning to. I like this idea to pause and pray. I think I will print this off and stick it on my fridge. Thanks for sharing.

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