Monday, February 26, 2018

Uncomfortable Truths of Being Morbidly Obese

I was going to try and sugar coat the title of this post by titling it, "Uncomfortable Truths of Being Overweight" but, the actual truth is that I'm not just overweight; I'm morbidly obese. With that being said, we're off to a good start with the whole truth thing.

Another truth? I haven't been feeling great lately. While my excess weight is always "weighing me down", there are just some times when I physically feel the weight more often than others. Lately, I've been feeling it and, it's been weighing on me heavily.

My excess weight isn't just making me feel unhealthy, either. It's making me unhealthy. 


My excess weight is taking a toll on my health every minute of every day, whether or not I am fully cognizant of it. Sometimes, I feel the excess weight on my body more often than others. I feel it in my joints, I feel it in my physical limitations and, that's when I am reminded that this isn't just a battle of losing weight; it's a battle for my health, wellness and life.

The truth is, at this weight of 240-something pounds, I am never fully comfortable. Never is a strong word, I know, and, I'm not using it lightly. I am honestly never fully comfortable because of my excess weight. Sitting down, laying down; even sleeping is uncomfortable. More recently I've been experiencing acid reflux, which I'm contributing to my excess weight, as well. My excess weight is  doing more than making me uncomfortable; it's making me sick.

I want better for myself. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. In my opinion, "being comfortable in your own skin" is a term used too often but, I mean it literally. 

Being comfortable in my own skin means that I will be able to lay on my stomach without it making my back hurt from being contorted unnaturally due to the excess weight in my belly. It means, when I'm sitting down, my legs won't get tingly numb because of my stomach resting on my upper thighs. It means being able to stretch, fully stretch, without the limitation of the excess weight in my stomach area. It means being able to walk down the stairs without putting as much weight on the hand rail as possible, in effort to take some weight off of my knees during impact. 

Even though sharing all of this makes me incredibly vulnerable; it's worth it. There's no sense in hiding the uncomfortable truths of being morbidly obese from you or myself. It's uncomfortable! I want to be comfortable in my body and, that's why even though there are times when I feel like giving up, I cannot.

6 comments:

  1. Wow, I totally get where you are coming from. I'm coming from 250 pounds to now at 194 pounds, but I feel the weight when I'm trying to workout. I'd like to be able to do moves without modifications, but my ankles and knees won't have any of it. The doctor says that I'm close to moving from being obese to just overweight, and for someone who needs to lose the weight to reduce the effect of PCOS on my body and my fertility, it's a huge motivator.

    Keep working hard! I just started reading your blog, and I really love it. Wish you the best on your journey.

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    1. Sarah, way to go on your weight loss! Moving from "obese" to "overweight" will be a great accomplishment! Thanks for your comment! :-)

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  2. I love your honesty! Thanks for sharing and keep it up!

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  3. i am coming from 242 and down to 188.9 and I to feel the affects of still being overweight when I exercise. Just everyday activities can make my knees hurt. I have around 30 more pounds I would love to lose but I just can not manage to get my eating under control and my age plays a big factor in it to. Going to be 51 soon. I wish you the best of luck of getting to your goals!!

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    1. Great job on your weight loss and thanks for the comment!

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