Wednesday, June 1, 2022

Finding Refuge in the Garden

Wow. It's June! The first day of June. I am still a bit in shock. My garden is filling up with plants, school is winding down for the year and, the weather has been consistently warm. There are a lot of indicators that it is the beginning of June, however, I am still orienting myself to that truth.

The past few weeks have been incredibly productive and busy in the best way! 

Piper started coach pitch softball and has games twice each week. She's doing so great learning and growing with her team. She is about to finish first grade and we couldn't be any more proud of her!

Delaney is growing and expanding in her development seemingly each day. She keeps saying more and more things, and we seem to be understanding one another in almost every way. 

My husband and I really hit the ground running once the weather became consistently nice.

We (mostly Nick and my grandpa) got our new garden fenced finished just in time for me to put in all 18 of our tomato plants last weekend.

This garden is becoming quite the transformational space. Not only in it's looks but also in a way that it is helping transform me, my daily rhythms, and my heart. When I am stressed, I run to the garden. When I am happy, I run to the garden. When I am sad, I run to the garden. And when I am in the garden, I am in the presence of God.

This past week has been challenging for my heart. The recent shooting in TX has been weighing on me heavily. Tears are escaping my eyes right at this moment just at the action of typing those words. Since I found out about it, there have been many moments in each day where I have cried about the horrific and tragic loss of those innocent children. Usually, it all comes out in the garden. Through my tears, I have prayed. Mostly, I have prayed wordless prayers allowing my tears to be carried by the Holy Spirit. It's too much for my heart. It's more than our souls were meant to endure. It feels like too much because it is far more than too much.

My garden is quickly becoming a refuge not only for me, but for my entire family. My daughter, Piper, loves to meet me out in the garden with a cup of decaffeinated tea. I know God meets her there too, because it is in the garden when I hear her talk about God the most. The other morning, as we walked around the garden with our tea in hand, Piper said to me "Isn't it cool mom that God made this morning for us to be together here in the garden? He planned out this time for us right now! He knows what's going to happen today. I bet it's going to be good!" ... for reference, Piper is 7, and yes, she is very wise.

So, even though my heart is grief stricken about the world right now, I lament with hope.

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