Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Confession and August Goals

July was a fun month! I spent a lot of time with family and friends. I even completed most of my goals for July.

July Goals 
  • Break out of the 230's - didn't happen, yet.
  • Try two new recipes - done!
  • Start running again - done!
I have been struggling with breaking out of the 230's for well over a year. I have said before that I based a lot of my weight plateau on my happiness at my current weight. I lost 35 pounds and I have been happy with those results. I am so much more comfortable with myself than I was before, and thus it is hard to be fully motivated to continue on. The thing that I need to remember, to keep myself motivated, is that being comfortable isn't what this weight loss journey is all about; it's for better health. The more weight I lose, the more healthier I will be. I am still morbidly obese and even though it is much easier to stay at my current weight, I must continue on.
This weight plateau has been challenging. Another challenge that I have been reluctant to admit lately is that I have been experiencing a minor relapse with my multiple sclerosis. Dizzy spells are back, and they are controlling a huge part of my life at the moment. I can't be sure, but I am guessing this relapse is stress induced and my poor eating choices aren't helping. When I first started feeling the effects of my multiple sclerosis in 2011, I would eat for what little comfort it could bring me. It was a stressful time and I ate my way up to nearly 270 lbs. I have been holding strong in the lower 230's this year and refuse to let myself fall back in to old habits.
Maintaining my weight this year has been my biggest success. I do eat well and exercise as planned for a majority of my time, but it's the "slip ups", the excessive treats and the lack of follow through that have been holding me back. I also struggle with binge eating, which has flared up with the onset of my multiple sclerosis symptoms. I am admitting all of this because I hope that it will help me to move forward; to be rid of this plateau once and for all.
Losing weight while in remission was hard, so trying to do so during a relapse will be even more so. I can't use it as an excuse though, not now; not when I need so badly to pick myself up and carry on. Determination and honesty has brought me here, and it's what will get me to where I'm going.
image from google images

In the words of Einstein, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." If that is true, I am telling you now that I have been insane for the past year. I have tried to just skate through this weight loss journey, eating well when it worked for me and treating myself at any time that I felt like it. That may have worked for the first 35 pounds, but it's time to enter "stage two". If I want to start losing serious weight again, I need to get serious. I need to hold myself accountable; I need to fully commit myself.
I truly believe that I can get through this weight loss journey without too much sacrifice, however; there has to be some sacrifice in my journey. Too much sacrifice would make this journey miserable, but not enough will get me nowhere. I cannot say yes to every treat offered. I cannot pursue a craving anytime I feel the urge; I must stick within my calorie range. I cannot eat well all week just to throw it away by going out drinking with my friends on the weekends. There has to be some balance here. Balance between over-indulgence and deprivation. Neither work in this journey.
Now that I have identified the issue, a plan of attack is in order.
August's Goals
  • Break out of the 230's
  • Track calories for 6/7 days a week
  • Exercise for 4/7 days a week
  • Drink 64 ounces of water daily
  • Get 7-8 hours of sleep a day
    My goals for August are a little more in depth than my July goals, because I am going to be more committed to myself this month. I need to do this for me, for my journey and for my health.



    1. I haven't hit a plateau yet ... not sure how I'll deal with that when/if it happens.

      I've committed to counting calories every day, I've only been doing it for 2.5 months so I don't know that I'm totally set in that habit yet. I'm an uber exerciser ... sometimes I wonder if I need to set a goal to actually take a rest day ...

      Do you have something to track sleep, or just estimating? I have a Fitbit, and I didn't think I'd really care about the sleep tracking feature, but I love it. According to it, I am getting less than I would have thought.

      Good luck for August!

    2. I can really identify with you. I have a chronic illness too. Right now I'm doing better but I gained quite a bit of weight from the stress of it and due to a medication. I also struggled in the 230's for a LONG TIME. I think a year or two. Finally this summer I'm down to 224. But it took forever and I very easily could go back up. I also have PCOS. You can do it!! Good luck!!