Thursday, January 11, 2018

Three Years as a SAHM

Bare with me as I get a little nostalgic and ramble-y with you all today. Not like that's anything new. I feel nostalgic quite often but, today is something special. This whole week is something special!

3 years ago this week, I quit my career as a Paralegal to stay at home with my daughter, Piper. 

Wow! 3 years?! That went by so fast!

I can still remember the process of coming to the decision that I'd stay at home with my daughter. It all started one weekend when I was very pregnant with her. I was rocking in the chair in her nursery, reading one of my many baby books. I was rubbing my belly lovingly, happily anticipating what it would be like to have her in my arms, in her nursery, in that same chair one day.

As I was sitting quietly in her nursery, I let myself think about what it would be like to not have to go back to work after she arrived. I started thinking about how wonderful it would be to not have to travel an hour and a half round-trip each day, missing out on so much of her infancy. 

As I thought about all of this, I had this overwhelming calm come over me. I prayed on this question as to whether or not I should stay at home with Piper and, sometime around Thanksgiving that year {after many discussions and time spent running numbers with my husband} we came to the decision that me staying at home with her was the only choice for us.

Being a planner at heart, this leap of faith was a big one for me. I had a plan to stay at home with Piper for at least the first year of her life but, after that, it was all unknown. Before I knew it, I was in deep into the unknown. That "one year at home" turned into two years at home and, now... three years at home. Wow! I couldn't have ever imagined we'd be so blessed. 

I honestly still, to this day, do not know how we made it work this long. Mostly because, it wasn't our doing. It was God. All of the glory goes to Him.

Whenever I think about it, the numbers don't add up {math has never been my strong suit}. I was worried we wouldn't even be able to financially make it through the first year with me home but, here I am, still at home with my baby... now toddler, three years later.

Do I miss my career as a Paralegal? Yes! Absolutely, yes!

There have been times when I have gotten the opportunity to tell people what I use to do in my job and, it brings me so much joy to talk about it. Some of the protocols and resources I used in my work still flow out of my mouth like I never left to begin with. I love what I use to do and, I love that there's still people out there doing the job. It was a very special position I was in, and the longer I am out of that field, the more I admire those still doing the work.

In my old career, I was helping make a change in peoples lives. I helped make an impact. In my current position, staying at home with my daughter, the impact is closer to home. I left one of the best jobs to stay at home and work the best job.

While not every day is easy, it is so worth it here at home with Piper. All while she is growing herself, she is also growing me in ways that I couldn't have grown without this experience. Throughout my time at home with Piper, she has been helping me grow my patience, my empathy, my gratitude, my faith. I have such a deeper appreciation for this life and my role in it.

If you would have told me on my last day of work that I would be sitting here today, three years later, still at home with my daughter, I probably wouldn't have believed you. But, I would have hoped it was true. I am so glad it's true.

Now more than ever, I am deep into the unknown. I am not sure how much longer I'll be blessed with the opportunity stay at home and, I am not sure what's next for me. Thankfully, I don't need to really think about that right now. Being a mom has taught me to live more in the moment, and to just appreciate each day for what it is and what we have right now.

No matter what the future brings, I am so glad I have gotten the opportunity to stay at home all of this time; watching my daughter grow into the beautiful little girl she's become. I feel so fulfilled. I feel so content. I feel so blessed. God is good!

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