Friday, April 1, 2022

Welcoming April + Opening Up About My Health

Hello, and happy Friday! Better yet, happy first day of April! I ended the month of March at my lowest weight since before I was pregnant with Delaney (who is now 15 months old). Despite some frustrating health issues that come and go - I have been feeling really good at this weight.

I think I am finally ready to start talking about my elusive health issues. Ever since last Fall, I have been dealing with a rash that has become quite debilitating at times. In late September, the rash began in my underarms. It seemed almost as if it were a simple heat rash. Then it morphed into something else when I got COVID only a couple weeks later. 

When I am in a flare with this rash, it is all I can think about because it burns and itches and makes my entire body tense and prickly. My joints become stiff when I'm in a flare. It is difficult to get out of bed in the morning, it is hard to close my hand into a fist, or send a text to my husband. My fingers don't work well during a flare, which is probably just another reason why I have been less motivated to type an update for my blog. Thankfully, these issues aren't constant. They come and go throughout each month. It's been six months, now. It is hard to stay hopeful for the day these issues may end. It is hard to still not know the root cause of these issues.

I recently had bloodwork done in effort to rule out autoimmune issues. Although not definitive, the bloodwork came back good. Now, in a couple of weeks, we move on to the other types of testing. We will be working on ruling out other things next - through a mammogram and ultrasound. I'm only 34 and so it is quite early but, not too early for this sort of thing.

The hardest part of all of this has been the mental toll it has taken on me. Every day, the first thing that I do when I wake up in the morning, is ball my hand up into a fist to see if I can do it. Then, I feel the area where my rash is to see if it is inflamed. When I'm in a flare, I am defeated. When I am not in a flare, I am fearful of when I will be in a flare again. This has been my reality for many months now.

With all that said, I have been trying harder lately to not allow this health struggle to consume me. There is much to be joyful and hopeful for outside of all of this. I am incredibly blessed and my hope remains in a God that is much bigger than these issues - or any issue for that matter.

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